Archive for category Teaching
It’s no secret that I’ve been looking for a full time teaching gig of some sort since I finished my Ph.D. To date, I have applied to five different full time positions in my area. Recently, I applied to a local community college and I had a really good feeling about the application. In my mind, I was a good fit for what they were looking for and I have the experience and the degrees to make me an attractive candidate.
Or so I thought, at least.
This morning, I checked the HR website. Days after I submitted my application materials my application “status” went from “Under HR Review” to “Sent to Committee for Review” which essentially means they looked over my materials and determined that I had the base requirements for the job. (In the case of a teaching job like this that I essentially had the right degrees.) When I checked today, my status changed to, “HR determined not selected for interview.”
As of this posting, I’ve received no notice from the college about this decision. I only know because my own curiosity kept me checking the site on a near daily basis.
Of the five full time jobs that I’ve applied for this year, I’ve heard back from only one other. For the colleges where I can check the status of my application, most say something vague along the lines of “In progress” or “Sent to committee.” One college, that I applied to in November of last year, sent me an email to confirm they received my materials but no other communication after that initial response.
All of this makes me wonder about manners in this technological age. Plenty of people discuss the tendency for people to troll forums and such, being assholes because the anonymity of the internet allows them to do so. Penny Arcade even has a comic about it:
It seems some of this has rubbed off into the job search as well. It’s not harassment going on here, and I am not dealing with creeps that think they can say whatever they want to me as I am going through this job search, but the “non-response response” that apparently has become an acceptable form of job application feedback disturbs me.
I could easily whine about how much time I spent on my application materials, especially since almost every full time teaching job requires “supplemental” application materials which often end up being several pages of writing. It’s not that I feel the time and effort I put in the application materials should at least warrant a nicely worded email response that says, “We looked over your materials and appreciate your application.”
What am I saying? That is exactly how this should go. There should be some other means of notification other than me checking the HR portal to figure out if I am still in consideration for a position, especially when I submitted some of these applications months ago.
I am not 100% sure when my status changed for this most recent application, so there is still the chance that I will get that, “Thanks but no thanks” email at some point. I suppose since things on the internet move at lightening speed, I would be more fair of me to wait a day or two to post this, just in case that email does indeed find its way to my inbox. But since they didn’t send an email to me *before* changing my status on the website, I feel fine in posting this mini-rant now.
So much for professional decorum.
Recently, one of my favorite bloggers said the word “bittersweet” was overused. Of course, she also used it but she explained that she spent some time trying to come up with a different word for that feeling. Her words stuck with me, partly because I became more aware of the word itself, and mostly because it reminded me of a time I used it.
I remember when I finished my master’s degree, the director of my program surprised me at a department event and asked me to say a few words. Taken completely off-guard, I stumbled around for a minute and thanked everyone I worked with and thanked him for facilitating such a great program. Then I closed my short, bumbling speech by saying this was a bittersweet moment for me, leaving a program I enjoyed so much.
This was not the sensation I had finishing the Ph.D.
Completing the defense, and putting the dissertation to bed was total, utter, and complete relief. I was so glad to be out from under the pressure to complete it, the stress of being evaluated, and doing my own research. I felt happy (well, until I learned I was losing a summer class and was going to need another job a lot sooner than I expected.)
But I didn’t feel like I was going to miss working on the dissertation.
I’m pretty much done with the whole academic writing thing. I want to write, I’ve always wanted to write, but I want to write things people are actually going to read. So I’m working on morphing my dissertation into a popular press book. It’s going to be a lot of work, but I’ll be able to focus on the parts I enjoy the most – interviews and talking to people about gaming.
But I digress.
That bittersweet sensation returned this week as I realized I was coming to the end of my time teaching at my university. When I participate in graduation in a couple of weeks, I will be walking with my own students. Several of them are graduating this year, too. This is the one time I’ll participate in graduation with students that I’ve taught myself. My connection to them is stronger than any connection I’ve ever had to other classmates because I feel like I played some small role in their success, even if I was only in class with them for a single semester.
And I know in my mind that this bittersweet feeling will pass, and that this is the end of an era, but that I have new and exciting things to come. (What those exciting things will look like . . . well, that isn’t clear. But I have faith they will show up eventually.)
But my heart tells a different story. My heart knows the larger community I’ve been a part of at this small campus is coming to an end and that I’ll have to start all over again some place new. I am largely ok with that, but each time I leave a place I’ve lived or a school or a job, there is a small corner of my heart that resonates with the word bittersweet.
Next week I will teach my last classes for my TAship. It’s funny in that ironic, not a knee-slapper way, that I’ve been so focused on finishing my Ph.D. that I kinda forgot it really does mark the end of an era for me. The three years I’ve been on this campus are the longest I’ve taught in the same physical location since I started teaching. Two weeks ago I visited my adviser’s class and realized more than half of her students were either currently in my class or had been in the last year or so.
I guess that’s what it’s like when you’re teaching at a campus with fewer than 3,000 students. It’s not an insult to say your students “get around.” 🙂
I dreaded going into class today. The last time we had a discussion heavy class, I snapped at some of my students because they were chatting with each other instead of talking to the class. Usually, I ignore such behavior. My pedagogy generally leans towards the idea that this is your education, if you want to piss it away chatting about lip gloss or boys or whatever else can’t wait until after class, so be it. And that works for me until it gets in the way of someone else’s learning. Then I snap. I think I turned it around well enough – I made it an opportunity for normally too quiet students to participate in class but it’s difficult to tell how the students feel once they’ve been publicly reprimanded.
So I felt the weight of that as I headed into class today, knowing that even if it wasn’t a fresh memory for the girls that I ousted into participating it was there for me at least.
It seemed to take us a while to warm up into the discussion but all of a sudden it seemed like my students were on fire. They were spouting off some great thoughts and ideas and I could see a semester’s worth of thinking starting to gel. And one of the quiet students that I snapped at during the last discussion volunteered to participate and shared some really excellent thoughts. I told her so and she smiled in return.
And as always, those are the moments I live for – the moments where it’s clear I’ve gotten through by whatever means what necessary, and that lightbulb flashes on behind their eyes.
It seems people in the academy complain a lot. When I told Chris yesterday that I didn’t want to finish the semester and just wanted my summer break to begin, I laughed and said, “Yeah poor me – I have to work for 75 minutes tomorrow!” (Of course, I spent about three hours getting ready for class but that just doesn’t sound as funny.)
I am not sure why it is so easy to forget those moments, the ones that ultimately make the politics and the job applications and I’m sure my soon to be renewed status of freeway flier. They seem to flit by, especially when I sit down to read another stack of student papers and automatically correct the their/there/they’re mistakes, or two/too/to, and end up piled in some dusty corner of my brain. I am going to try and set my desk up in that part of my brain, where all the moments I love about what I do live, and see if that helps me complain a little less.